Thursday, April 10, 2008

as we move towards the objective

Oh blog, my friend that I have neglected. Where to begin. How to explain. It's not you; it's me.

Well, it seems that every year I have warm fuzzy things to say about the joyful struggle of Lent, and I was not going to let these 40 (or so) days pass without throwing a little nugget of my spiritual journey out there for my friends to chew on. Plus, I thought it was about time to make another past-due entry that begins with some inane joke about how this entry is really past due.

I guess this Lent has been somewhat different for me personally, considering that I began it by making a decision to leave my job. I'm certain that it was the right decision, and it was most definitely inevitable, but the limbo that comes with leaving a job without the safety net of another one (especially when you're supporting a doctoral student) can be a little unnerving, needless to say. However, we make ends meet for now through my being the temp, aka the girl who does the stuff no one else wanted to do/got around to doing. Eh, it's money, and experience.

This year, it seems like the Lenten period has really afforded me some sort of tangible growth as a person. I feel more peace, and I feel more capable of coping. It's been a time of loss, and uncertainty, and struggle (although I know that my loss and uncertainty and struggle is nothing compared to what others may face)- but I feel more grounded, like I can take a step back and look at everything a little more clearly. I'm thankful for that.

I just (finally) read C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity, and am now trudging my way through some monastic literature. And so I leave you with something that strikes home for me this Lenten season:

In Scripture are the words 'I humbled myself, and the Lord hastened to rescue me' (Psalm 114:6); and these words are there instead of 'I have fasted', 'I have kept vigil', 'I lay down on the bare earth'.

St. John Climacus