girl talk

I miss having a girl best friend. It has been in the back of my mind for some time, and what a weird time for it to come out and be put into material thoughts. Mike took me to see the play "Dead Man Walking" tonight, we went for coffee afterward, and it was a really nice date night. I made tempura for dinner, and it was delicious, and now I am just hanging out and waiting for Mike to be ready go to to bed. I had a great Friday evening, and yet I'm thinking about how nice it would be if I had one girl friend that I could really connect with.

It has been quite a while since I've had a "best friend". Since high school, in fact. And this may only be in retrospect, but I don't think that I was very real or open with my close friends most of the time back then. It seems like I spent a majority of my time making sure that the people around me would like me, rather than simply being myself. That's not to say that those relationships weren't genuine, but I'm really not that surprised that things have changed. Time and life have just shifted everything around.

It would just be so nice to have that person that I could go shopping with, call at any hour of the day, confide in about my marriage or my job or whatever. I do have these things in different people, but I want it all combined into one perfect girl best friend (who has cute hair and the perfect taste in earrings). I think I'm worried that I won't ever know anyone like that, or I will be too closed off to be like that with anyone. I think that I purposefully don't get too close to people, because I have been moving around so much in the last few years, and will be doing that again soon probably. And then I'd have to keep up with my girl best friend by phone, and she of course would know how much I HATE the phone.

But I guess I am glad that this is the worst of my problems. I think I must be doing pretty well if the thing that concerns me most at midnight when I am left with my thoughts is wishing for a girl best friend.